Beginning Again
It’s officially 2023.
In all fairness it’s been 2023 for over a week now, but I took a much needed break from the world wide web.
I don’t make resolutions. Not anymore, anyway. Why set yourself up for failure?
I remember years ago I made the resolution to read more. So I’d finally sit down and read the books I’ve had on my shelves for years and once one was complete, I’d buy three more. In theory I thought it made perfect sense - I’d always have a new book to read. What I didn’t yet realize about myself was that I’d come to resent all the things around me. Too much stuff. But all in all, I was proud of myself for at least trying.
I still have many books that I haven’t read a single page of.
I have high hopes for this year. There are so many things that I haven’t put any time or effort into for a while. So I’m focusing on myself. My relationship. My career or new career. And I guess turning 30 has a little bit to do with that.
I don’t do resolutions and I really didn’t think I’d be the type to want a roadmap for my life. There’s just something different about this year, it’s hitting very differently. The quarter-life crisis shouldn’t be a thing at 25, it’s 30.
I’ve never known this level of existencial dread.
Everything needs to be new and different and I can’t have pink hair anymore and I need to dress like an adult and have a real adult job. Is my relationship going to survive? How do I make real adult money? Has everything I’ve done just been for fun and because it was easy?
So in light of all this feeling I’ve been doing here’s where I am. I’m looking for a shiny new adult lady job to make (real? more?) money. I cut three inches off my hair and it’s no longer pink. My partner and I are both working towards the things we want for ourselves, alongside one another and also working on our communication and getting back to how we were in the ‘ol days.
I’m excited and hopeful for this year. My mind is on the things that I truly care about.
Blackstone has some new things in store for this year as well, so you’ll have to stay tuned.
As always, thank you for being you and allowing me to be me. Man, is it a long journey to figure all this shit out. May we all survive.
